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Showing posts with the label English-jokes

Funny WhatsApp Message - Arnab Goswami

After creating this complex world, GOD was worried, who will decide what is RIGHT and what is WRONG ? So he created ARNAB GOSWAMI.  Arnab Goswami might probably be the only guy in this world to fight with his wife & win If we could place a mini turbine inside Arnab Goswami's throat, the resultant electricity can power all the Times group building. Arnab Goswami is inversly proportional to Manmohan Singh If you find Arnab Goswami's pic with his mouth closed, then that camera has a very good shutter speed. Arnab Goswami is fluent in English & weak in grammer  becoz he does not use full stop or comma From the moon you can see the great wall of china and hear Arnab Goswami shouting "The nation wants to know" Proposed airport near Times Now studio cancelled as noise from newshour could weaken the structure and intercept signals When Arnab Goswami says "I will speak now" , everyone looks puzzled , wondering who was speakin...
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Funny whatsapp joke : sell him on olx

Girl : Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed to each other on skype, And now we've had 2 months of relationship thru viber. I need ur blessing and good wishes daddy... Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun online. Buy ur kids on e-bay, send them thru g-mail and if u r fed up with your husband... Sell him on OLX....
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Husband wife jokes

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..  The story continues.... The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card. MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband. 😆 Story continues.... Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card. Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE. 😎 Fresh absolutely fresh....
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Self control

People drink  & smoke for few days & get addicted to it ....! I'm studying📚 since nursery  But still not addicted to studying This is called 'self control'
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Strange Fact - hilarious but true

If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT, Why are whales FAT ??  Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT, called a STAND ?  Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN, but nobody wants to DIE..  Shall I say that there is racial discrimination even in chess... As the WHITE piece is moved FIRST...  In our country, We have FREEDOM of SPEECH, Then why do we have TELEPHONE BILLS ?  If money doesn't grow on TREES, then why do banks have BRANCHES ? 😆😆😆😆 Why doesn't GLUE stick to its BOTTLE ?  Why do you still call it a BUILDING, when its already BUILT ?  If its true that we are here to HELP others, What are others HERE for ? 😆 😆😆...
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Modern wife

An Ultra Modern wife's note for the husband : I am gng out wid my frens for dinner. Your dinner is on the recipe book, page 25 and ingredients are available at Reliance Fresh
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Easter One liner jokes

Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain? A: An egghead.  Q: What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water? A: It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick! So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Q: Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? A: From Eggplants. Q: What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school? A: He was eggspelled! Q: Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? A: She had to call an eggs-terminator! Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A: Bugs Bunny! Q: Why was the little girl sad after the race? A: Because an egg beater! Q: What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? A: a hot cross bunny Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days. Q: What kind of bunny can’t hop? A: A chocolate one! Q: How do bunnies stay healthy? A: Eggercise Q:...
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Easter Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock!  Who's there?  Alma.  Alma who?   Alma: Easter candy is gone. Can I have some more? Knock, knock!  Who's there?   Arthur.  Arthur who?  Arthur: any more eggs to decorate? Knock, knock!  Who's there?   Donna.   Donna who?  Donna: want to decorate some eggs? Knock, knock!  Who's there?   Harvey.  Harvey who?  Harvey: good Easter everyone. Knock, knock!  Who's there?   Heidi.   Heidi who?   Heidi: the eggs around the house. Knock, knock! Who's there?  Howard.  Howard who?   Howard: you like a chocolate bunny? Knock, knock!  Who's there?  Police.  Police who?  Police: hurry up and decorate your eggs. Knock, knock!  Who's there?  Sherwood.  Sherwood who?  Sherwood: like to have an Easter basket like yours. Knock, knock!  Who's...
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Funny Santa Banta Whatsapp jokes - Santa call an ambulance

Santa calls an ambulance ... because his mate Banta had been hit by a car...... Santa: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose ... and ears and I think both his legs are broken. ... 'Operator: 'What is your location sir?' ... Santa: 'Outside 28 Connaught Place ... 'Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?' ... Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute ... Operator: 'Are you there sir?' ... More heavy breathing and another minute later.... Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'  ... This goes on for another few minutes until .... Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. ... Can you still hear me?' ... Santa: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell Connaught place, so I just dragged him round to Minto road .... aap Minto Road ki spelling note karo...
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